Fiesta de Holyrood

Since there are no polls to work with or chew over and (for now) there are no big issues of the day, I thought I'd ask how any readers are going to go about watching The Greatest Show on Earth (that's the Scottish Elecion coverage in case you hadn't guessed).

I remember hearing that electronic counting systems would make the results immediate and all drama of hearing those exciting words, as Kirsty Wark puts her hand to her ear saying "I think... yes, we can now go to Cunninghame North". Perish the thought, that's the whole point of elections for me anyway.

The start of the night is always a bit interesting. Lib Dems happen to win the first 2 seats and for half an hour a yellow whitewash (a yellowwash?) could be on the cards. A bit like when Motherwell scrape through their first few games of the season and find themselves pinching themselves at the top of the SPL.

An ex-Tory on the pundit bench has to squirm as he or she has to defend the fact that it’s 2am and the party hasn’t won a single seat yet. Meanwhile the person on the bench who isn’t wedded to any party slowly gets drunker and drunker, redder and redder and best of all, more funny and offensive as the night goes on. Much like Terry Wogan on Eurovision night.

And then there’s the first marginal. Infact, in 2007 most seats will be marginal including the very first one to be called, Hamilton South. Other results that may have you calling your flatmate/partner/granny in to see the action are: Glasgow Govan, TEL, Argyll & Bute, Edinburgh Central and of course Gordon, not to mention about 40 more!


So yes, thankfully I have family and friends as geekily into this stuff as I am so it'll be a full night, a bit of haggis and whisky sauce and irn-bru aflowing as the tension builds. At around 11pm I think it’ll be the BBC that gets the nod though a quick vote of which channel has the best pundits will be put forward. It is a democracy after all.

Not sure if my brother will have his tray of coloured m&m’s, populating a fake parliament as the results unfold but it will prove to be quite a night whatever happens. I just wish we lived in a country where people jumped on their motorbikes or leant out of their car windows, waving their national flag, if for no other reason than that it makes a good photo.


Incidentally, even from May4th, I may start planning an enormous carnival in the park beside the parliament for the election night May 2011. Fiesta de Holyrood! Jugglers, people on stilts, old Scottish ales, highland dancing, caber tossing and of course giant screens giving us the thoughts of Brian Taylor and John Curtice throughout the night. Bring the next 4 years in in style….!

But for now, with only 7 sleeps to go, there is excitement enough. I hope your Swingometers are singing come Thursday night, whatever you happen to be doing…