Gangs of New Labour

Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of cheap journalism at all. Going for the easy headline is all too easy and when I read about what's going on in the world, I want to be raising eyebrows rather than a titter.

But this story is just too good to gloss over.


The idea of John Reid being in a gang as a basic premise is good enough. But then for it to continue with images of his boyz from the West Side (I presume, Reid being from Lanarkshire) all playing the mouth organ together and squeezing out a coffee for the entire night is even more amusing.

It makes me wonder who else might have been embroiled in such nefarious behaviour in their youth....

Was John Prescott part of some Hull terror group, the Croquet Kids perhaps? Terrifying the local neighbourhood with their mallets and not afraid to throw punches at local egg-throwing gangs.

Maybe there was some Fife gang Gordon Brown got mixed up in but prudently agreed to merely carry the chibbs rather than actually use them in some way. If his knowledge of oil prices and foreign trade was up to scratch back then, he could have helped out with purchasing for petrol bombs and exotic weapons from Asia with an advantageous exchange rate on their side.

I can also see 'Mags' Beckett having a few stories up her sleeve. The silent leader of the pack who struts in to rule the roost once her lackeys have punched and kicked their way to local domination in the famous ganglands of Ashton-under-Lyne. A simple raised eyebrow would have been enough to strike fear into a local wannabe yob's heart back in those days.


So, yeah, maybe in the odd Cabinet Meeting or two, John Reid gets the old mouth organ out for old times sake and everyone recounts bloody tales from the past. All the while poor Alastair Darling looks on confused, shocked and more than a little bit scared.


Or maybe I should just get back to doing some work.