Dear God,
I hope you are well and looking foward to your son's birthday.
I sometimes wonder if you find it strange at this time of year that people celebrate Jesus being born and saving us from eternal damnation by eating lots of turkey and chocolate and being really greedy in wanting new Playstations and "wee's".
No, I don't know what a wee is either, I think it is some sort of indoor tennis racket.
Anyway, I don't want to take up too much of your time, I'm sure you are very busy of course but I just have one teeny weeny favour to ask of you if that is OK.
I see you have granted some Celtic fan's prayers wishes by making Rangers lose 3-0 in today's football match. As you know, I didn't wish for this as, like all of the other commandments, I am more than happy to love my neighbours.
So with that in mind, if you could use your almighty power to make sure that Celtic will play against Porto in the next round of the Champions League rather than against Barcelona, Real Madrid, Chelsea or Manchester United then I would be deeply, deeply thankful and will always go to a church on a Sunday from now on.
I know I have made the same promise before in the past and you have always granted my wishes anyway but this time I really mean it and none of my fingers or toes are crossed. I promise.
Thank you very much and God Bless (assuming you are allowed to do that to yourself),
Celtic fan xoxo
Crisis? What crisis?
3 minutes ago
1 comments:
Dear Jeff,
As a reasonably educated chap, I'm sure that you are aware of the 'Butterfly effect' where if Jean Claude accidentally treads on Kim Kallstrom, he can ruin his sides chances for the next year and lose them millions of pounds. You will therefore understand that I cannot bow to such blatant bribery without considering the delicate chain of causitry attached. But throw in a few Our Fathers and a tenner in the poor box, and you've got yourself a deal.
Yours sincerely,
God
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