Someone to watch over us

There are some news stories that despite making the headlines never really catch my attention. All the stuff about the Olympics overspend for example. Even all the Northern Ireland stories over the year have never really struck a chord with me at all. Maybe with the Olympics the speed-skating and pole vaulting all just seems so far off into the future and also I have no way of knowing if the money made in 2012 is going to make all these billions being spent actually worth it. And as for Northern Ireland, I've never really known the history behind it all and for a while there was a depressing roatation to the cycle of news in the area. (A cycle which has of course now been broken apparently, not that I'd know too much about it).


Another regular news item that makes the headlines and always has me turning away is paedophilia, possibly the ultimate taboo subject. And the recent Chris Langham case has been no exception as I hadn't been following it at all. It must be the most painful and frustrating experience to have a loved one or one's own self being the victim in such a case. And again, similar to Northern Ireland but in a much more intense way, it is probably the sheer depressing state of some of the cases that is too much for me to take.

But a recent BBC news article regarding the Langham case did strike me.


First of all though, I don't think we should even be able to comment on any of this. I strongly believe in the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" and whatever comes of this case, Mr Langham will be tarred with a very strong brush. I think there was a leading snooker player who was accused of rape. He was dragged through the courts at the same time as his name was dragged through the mud. He was found completely innocent of all charges and yet the unfair suspicion no doubt remains amonst some quarters. By all means let's throw books at people when we have to, but let's at least make sure we are hitting the right people when we do so.


But that's a separate issue. The news story that caught my eye was the "actor did not want paedophile tag" line.

To me, that line of defence is very similar to the "I was just curious" approach taken by drug users or one-time homosexuals (not that I'm suggesting the second one is or in anyway should be illegal). But if someone tries cocaine once or sleeps with someone of the same sex once does that make them a druggie or a homosexual? And following on the logic, does someone who downloads child porn necessarily make them a paedophile?

For weeks I had been convinced in my thinking that they were going to throw a very large book at Mr Langham when this case was all over with. But now I'm not so sure. Of course, he may be as guilty as sin for all I know with the downloading being the tip of the iceberg, but if the jurors (assuming there are any) manage to resist the knee-jerk reaction here there may be a subtler and more complex debate to be had.

In a similar way as to how we don't want to lock away people for good who have a few milligrams of coke, perhaps a similar approach could be taken for the downloading of illegal files. There does after all seem to be a strong villification reserved for the downloaders whereas those who actually create the images and files seem to escape the majority of the public's glare.

And yet, could it not be so simple to track such people? Why pull the leaves from an unhealthy tree when we can just knock the whole thing out the ground? I imagine there must be a trail that can be followed back to the original source of what some (I suspect many) people are illegally viewing.

Even a sytem whereby people's IP addresses are logged on a national database could work and then, in conjunction with internet service providers, noone is allowed net access without the authorities knowing who you are. Then there is a visible footprint of who was where and when and, crucially, who is responsible for what is on the internet.

Of course, there is a perfectly reasonable civil liberties argument to be raised at this point. But given a similar system works so effectively with cars, I don't see why something couldn't be set up for computers given the levels of fraud, paedophilia and people smuggling that goes on online is much, much more serious than a few speeding Ferraris.


As I say, I have no earthly idea what the right result will be for Chris Langham. But I just can't help but feel we're frying the wrong fish.

Nice guys finish last

Lord Saatchi has seemingly had enough of David Cameron's approach to wooing the electorate. The nicey-nicey approach to Tory public relations would be dragged out kicking and screaming if the former Party Chairman was still in charge.


And quite right too, those of us who have been through the ringer a few times know that nice guys finish last. It's the "treat em mean, keep em keen" approach that clearly works in all walks of life. I've seen this, painfully, first hand. (Ah, Mariella Lopez Rodriguez, where are you now, to think I once thought quoting poetry would win you round......)


So, anyway, are we to expect a meaner approach from Cameron? Maybe he could grow some stubble and throw in some sweary words at PM's questions. Or he could boast about how much he can drink and swan around in a baseball cap. Or maybe it's best if he kept the new tactics behind closed doors at Shadow Cabinet meetings and slapped Letwin, Osbourne and co around a bit until they agreed with Cameron's "Who's the Daddy?" style of questioning.


Who knows what change of tack may occur, but given what Lord Saatchi says: "Not a single poll in a single month in the past 15 years has given the Conservative Party a sufficient lead to win a general election" maybe David Cameron donning a Rambo-style red headband and picking Prescott-style fights with the electorate isn't such a bad plan in the end.


He has, after all, made a bit of a start on creating a new bad-boy image.






NB: I did originally mean for this post to be serious, I guess I either got carried away or just had nothing meaningful to say!

Yep, it's a love-in ladies and gentlemen

Why does it happen? What purpose does it serve? Tony Blair used to fall over himself to bestow generous platitudes on the Cowboy President and now it seems Gordon Brown is set to follow. I really hoped he would have been a little bit Hugh Grant about it all but as the quotes below suggest, another ego massaging for George, America and her sons and daughters is about to begin


And I ask again, why? By all means lets do some deals behind closed doors, ensure the UK interests are served as much as they feasibly can etc but all this chat at the podiums which, I'm sorry, must be the most public of all possible booty calls is just a waste of time and more than a little bit embarrassing, especially as the ensuing embrace from the US is fleeting and involving minimal levels of warmth. One could argue Gordon Brown is best served to cry off the whole affair with a headache.



Brown's quotes so far:


But en route to the US, Mr Brown described himself as an "Atlanticist and a great admirer of the American sprit".


"As prime minister I want to do more to strengthen even further our relationship with the US," he said.


"And we should acknowledge the debt the world owes to the United States for its leadership in this fight against international terrorism," he added.



That last one sticks in the throat slightly. The world owes the US a debt for its conduct over Iraq? Really?

If the US had the slightest bit of restraint and patience rather than the gung-ho "we'll have this done in time for breakfast" attitude, if they had attacked Iraq for the right reasons rather than because of all that lovely oil they wanted to bathe themselves in, if they had waited for the world to get on board rather than their preferred unilateral approach then maybe, just maybe, the Iraqis would have a stable country to work with and more innocent civilians to help each other along.


The U.S. should be acknowledged and perhaps even admired for staying the course given where they are currently but the reckless "leadership" it showed in getting itself (and us) there in the first place is surely more of a liability than the asset our Prime Minister suggests.


Gordon Brown has an enormous brain and I just hope he manages to engage it before making statements in the dizzying surroundings of Camp David over the next few days.

This is just getting silly....

A man who dresses like a police officer before performing his strip shows has been charged for a second time.

Charge number 1 - Impersonating a police officer (as if the large label "Stripper" on the back isn't enough of a clue as to what the outfit is really for)

Charge number 2 - An offensive weapons charge for carrying a baton. (I'm going to guess that upon closer inspection, a stripper's accessory that is about 10 inches long, hard and rounded at the end might be something else entirely).

Either way, please let the poor student get on with his job so he doesn't have to have too huge a student loan at the end of his studies. After all, getting harangued by large groups of 40+ year old women every Friday night is surely punishment enough!

Why don't you kick yourself out, you're an immigrant too

It's official. I am pleased to announce that Edinburgh is truly now a multicultural city.

There I was on Friday lunchtime in one of the shops along Princes St being served by a very well-dressed Indian guy, to my left were a Polish couple clearly going round in circles in their native tongue on whether to buy the latest Nokia and to my right were a Korean couple speaking to the shop staff member in Korean. It was fantastic stuff, the only downside was my temporary burning desire to add to the ranks of "Scots Abroad" and get out and see the world but you can't wish for much more than the whole world mixing in your own city.

And yet, sadly, how many people would share the same view. Yesterday, jumping off the 26 bus, two guys in front of me were loudly muttering about the numbers of bl**dy Poles in the city and I've read more than a few pieces about the "typical behaviour" of foreigners taking more than their fair share of water in the flood-hit areas of the UK. It's unfortunate when personal insecurity and a lack of understanding knows no other hiding place but bitter enmity towards perfect strangers. And after the Glasgow terror attacks I think I'm right in saying that the number of race-related attacks increased sharply. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black/Muslim.

I suppose I should be grateful, as things are going my way in life in general then perhaps it's much easier for me to see anything in a positive light. And when the chips are down for you, even something as innocuous as foreign people working in your home country can set you off on a rant. Maybe it's merely one's standing on the economic/happiness pyramid that determines one's views on how open the borders should be. But that's not going to stop me having a gentle kick at those who think Britain should strictly be enjoyed by the British.

After all, how many of us can say we weren't immigrants in one way or another if we trace our heritage back far enough? Apparently my 'clan' stemmed from a bunch of Irish lawyers in the 12th century so if we're going to be kicking any Poles, Korean or Indians out then I guess I should be joining the queue too. Furthermore, if you believe in the Out of Africa Theory (which quite frankly you should, because it all stacks up), then we all stumbled onto these shores at some point with no real right to call it home.

So with festival time just around the corner, and a Seven Continent Army about to invade this city for the party of the year, I just hope Edinburgh's collective minds can be as open as our borders are. Otherwise I may have a more depressing motive for wanting to join the Scots Abroad.




(** Title for this post has shamelessly been taken from the White Stripes' recent Ickythump single by the way. It takes a few listens but it's a cracking tune once you let your ears adjust to it.)

Know your Blogger

Saw this test at Bill Cameron's blog and couldn't resist having a crack at it.


At times you feel a bit like a giggling 13 year old with some of the questions and at other times it took me back to applying for graduate jobs as it does drag on. But highly entertaining, and somewhat enlightening. Although I agree with most of it I am rather gutted to see I'm more of a cynic than an idealist. More work required I suppose........!


I do however like how my sitting on the fence attitude is reflected in my political stance of libertarian which I agree with 50% of the time.




Anyway, in the spirit of openness and transparency, here's my results:






Personality
You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.As for specific personality traits, you are innovative (93%), adventurous (75%), romantic (71%), greedy (57%).

Stereotypes
Young Professional
80%
Hippie
58%
Prep
54%

Life Experience
Sex
35%
Substances
3%
Travel
38%

PoliticsYour political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

SocioeconomicYour attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class.

You make more than 95% of those who have taken this test, and 46% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.

By the way, your hottness rank is 76%, hotter than 94% of other test takers.

24th of October - David versus Goliath?

While staring blankly, vacantly even, at GMTV this morning and trying (and failing) to not get Weetabix on my suit, I seem to remember Kate Garraway saying to David Cameron that the election has been pencilled in for October 24th.


Is this correct? It was so out of the blue that I'm now beginning to wonder if I just made it up. I certainly can't seem to find any chat on it anywhere else and no offence to the lovely lady but it's not like Ms Garraway to be abreast of the BBC or The Times on such things.


Cameron of course repeated his Bring It On phrase if that date was to hold true. It's not like I need further encouragement to get excited about elections, but I do like that war-cry Dave has going on there. Well, war-cry is a bit strong but he's picked out a good phrase at least.


Anyway, it may well all be pie-in-the sky of course but October 24th isn't so far away. I'll be tuning in to GMTV tomorrow for more breaking news, though probably just with a nutri-grain rather than with some potentially dangerous wheat-based cereal.

Tax doesn't have to be taxing

Just filling in some forms to get my tax back from the Australian Government here.

I had done the Maths and was all set for an approximate £1,000 payday, I hit the calculate button and learn that I OWE THEM $600! What the heck is going on?

I'm a qualified accountant and I don't get it. How mere mortals fill their self assessment form in each year and don't get screwed over by the Treasury is beyond me.


Tax doesn't have to be taxing? Pah, I'm going out for some long bevvies after this is all over.


You want to sort out binge drinking Gordon**? Try making the self assessment process a bit easier......!!






** Yes, I know this is an Australian tax rebate form and nothing to do with Gordon Brown but (1) I'm sure the UK form is just as contradictory and (2) I don't know who the Aussie Chancellor of the Exchequer is. Though of course his title would be Bruce the Banker or something similarly laid back.

Stripping Lib Dems

It's been well noted at how the Lib Dems would do just about anything to win a vote but choosing a stripogram/kissogram to stand as councillor to rein in the votes is quite something!


Despite that fairly odd state of affairs, it's the other three Lib Dem councillors in this story who are acting rather bizarrely. I say Lib Dem councillors but they are soon to be independents as they are leaving the party because of the fourth Lib Dem member's other interests.


It's only to a certain extent that we can choose what offends us. Fat girls in leggings for example is a personal affront for myself and I can't say I'm too enamoured by people who talk at the top of their lungs almost all the time (yes Australians, I'm talking to you!). But to quit your political party because of a colleague's private doings is a bit of a stretch, and I daresay it's insulting to the electorate too.


The elections were a matter of months ago. These three people stood on the Lib Dem platform and as a result they got a lot of votes because, presumably, there are a lot of Lib Dem supporters in the area. (Bless them. They do get to inherit the earth one day though....)


Anyway, my point is there's no chance these three people would have been elected as independents so in my eyes they should either stay on as Lib Dems or resign. None of this middle of the road, toys out the pram, independent nonsense....



It smacks of a certain arrogance really, similar to that Tory who crossed over to the Labour benches. As if people get voted in on personality alone. How else could one explain Diane Abbot as an MP?


Let's take it to the extreme. What if George W had been elected as the Republican president and then suddenly decided he wasn't going to blow up innocent people and run up a massive domestic deficit. People wouldn't be happy........ Well, they should be delighted but it would still be a bit of a con.


Anyway, this posting has ran out of steam and I've just had the awful thought of some MSPs secretly being strippers or kissograms so I think I'm going to have a strong whisky and try to get over those images. Though in saying that, I bet a chapped-up Andy Kerr could do a mean Tom Jones impersonation......

Razzle dazzle 'em

Well, the great Aaron Sorkin has returned to our screens by bestowing upon us a whole new premise for his talents, a new double act and a "razzle dazzle dialogue" (phrase courtesy of the Metro). I am, of course, talking about the new More 4 show, the alliteratively catchy, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

The double act lived up to its early promise too. Chandler and Josh on TV together? What a thought! It has happened before though, in a few episodes of the West Wing and the chemistry was there even back then. Despite both Matt Perry and Bradley Whitford being on our screens for at least the past 7 years (well, on my screen anyway), they both seemed fresh and funny in last night's opening episode. Some fine comedy moments including the hug from Josh when Chandler thought he was getting some support for his recent break-up but he'd actually just won a Writers Guild Award. OK, so it was funny at the time.......

Anyway, this is just a heads up really. I did wonder if Sorkin could hit gold again after the mighty West Wing ran its course. After all, is it as easy to get so engrossingly involved in an emergency in a mere TV studio compared to the excitement of a presidential election and running the world? Who cares really, as long as that dialogue razzles and dazzles and the well cast cast strut their stuff as they did last night, then I think I have my only appoointment TV show for the next few months. Well, this and The F Word and Jamie at Home but they're a given........

So make a date. 10pm Thursday nights on More 4. Or catch the repeats at the dangerously placed 11pm Sunday night slot.


NB: The main characters aren't actually called Josh and Chandler, that would be extremely lazy and probably illegal practise from NBC. I'm just a bit rubbish with names. I think it's Danny and Matt.

PS It should be noted that I fell asleep with 10 minutes to go and also spent half of the earlier 50 minutes of the show making caramelized bananas (which were bloody tasty). But this is not a sign that I got bored or the show lacked pizazz, I'm just a lazy gannet in general.......!

To ask the Prime Minister......

.......when he will next speak with the First Minister and what issues they will discuss?



I daresay Alex Salmond speaking in Westminster as the First Minister won't be as groundbreaking as I had originally hoped. The mischievous side of me thought it would be a bit of a laugh but now that it looks like today's the day it'll happen I suspect the incident will be business as usual regarding constitutional reforms.

And given Brown and Salmond are serious men with serious jobs, I guess that's for the best. I'll just have to go on youtube to find something to make me chuckle I suppose......

The Brown ball that won't stop bouncing

Just reading through a You Gov poll on Brown vs Cameron at the moment.

Overall Labour polled 40% and the Tories 33% on the question of who would you vote for in a general election tomorrow.

The reason for Labour’s ever increasing lead has to be laid at Brown’s door. And a breakdown of the poll shows just how Brown’s early tactics have led to his polling and electoral successes:

Language from Douglas Alexander and Lord Malloch Brown in recent speeches are thinly veiled shifts in policy regarding how the UK will work with the US. The YouGov poll: 60% of people want Gordon Brown to distance himself from George W Bush.

Gordon Brown announces a review into reclassifying cannabis as a class B drug. The Yougov poll: Only 20% of people wish to see it remain as a Class C drug.

The Cabinet decide to make a flurry of announcements regarding the Hash Brownies (still love that headline, just gutted it was the Daily Record’s!). This of course is in contrast to Cameron’s “I’m not telling anyone so just fob off will you”. The YouGov poll: 80% of people think having smoked cannabis makes no difference or makes you more knowledgable on the subject.

Gordon Brown makes a big deal out of his upbringing and his beliefs, including mentioning his school motto upon stepping into Number 10 as leader for the first time. The YouGov poll: 44%, as opposed to 12% for Cameron, say that Brown sticks to what he believes in.

The Prime Minister starts making a lot of noises about new homes and helping youngsters get on the housing ladder. The Yougov poll: 65% of people say that young people should be able to afford to buy their own homes and it is unfair that they cannot do so.


The only score where Cameron came out on top was that he is more charismatic. Not too much of a surprise there! But when the job in question is running the country, one has to think that the only response to that is “who cares?”


So happy days for Gordon Brown. He’s barely put a foot wrong and that fake grin of his must be getting more genuine by the day.

Hit the road Lord Jack

According to the Sunday Times, what has widely been expected is due to happen before the summer recess is over. Jack McConnell is to stand down as leader of the Scottish Labour party.

My partisan view is that this is unfortunate. Jack has merely (and charitably I would say) managed to “hold the party together” since May but he has also contrived to lose control of the ball at question time. Who can forget his question regarding all those independent European countries who were above Scotland in the standard of living tables? (The question was actually regarding trams or something)

But in a non-partisan outlook, I think a bit of fresh air in the lungs of the Scottish Labour ranks would be a good thing. Give them a bit of life and keep pushing the SNP even harder which can only be good for Holyrood overall.

The question is, who will take over? I’m not convinced that Wendy Alexander is the favourite that most people make her out to be. Margaret Curran clearly craves the position and I’m sure has plenty of tricks up her sleeve to get there. Andy Kerr too has more than a little bit of influence in the party and probably has some Kerr-ites to draw on.

I foresee the remainder of 2007 being a bit of a bruising time for the labour party. A lot of jostling for position and internal wrangling, just when the SNP will be finding it tough to get their numbers right after the trams debacle and the post-election giveaway.

And Jack’s reward for all of this? Apparently he is “buoyed by rumours that he may be elevated to the House of Lords”. I’m sure he didn’t even have to sign a cheque for that one.

Jacques and Sergio

Poor Jacques van de Velde. All this media attention about his spectacular collapse at Carnoustie all of 8 years ago must be a bit of a pain for him. I guess he’s choosing to do all these interviews so maybe he doesn’t mind the circus too much.

Anyway, he clearly has the right philosophical approach:

(On being asked if he has any regrets about that 18th hole) “If you have a glass in front of you, it is either half empty or half full. I like to have a glass of red wine, and if you’ve already drank the first half, then what do you have to be sad about?”

Vive la France!



And good luck to Sergio. I've finally accepted that Monty isn't going to win it this year (his not making the cut was the final sign it wasn't to be). If the Spanish El Nino can hold on to win then he could be the most popular Open champion in a long time.

Cementing that Special Relationship

Apparently Douglas Alexander, the new International Development Secretary, has made a speech containing 'coded criticism' of the US.

Nothing too remarkable overall really but I'm just wondering, as the photo attached to the story perhaps suggests, is Douglas' hairstyle a coded message that he's a fan of Americana deep down?


Maybe I'm seeing things, but I'm sure Douglas is sporting a mullet........!

Much ado about nothing

8pm - 9pm. (During the marvellous Alastair Campbell Diaries on BBC2). AC stated: "These people (the media) are never happier than when they're talking about themselves"


10pm - BBC News, main story = the Queen, Annie Liebowitz and a BBC clip that was shown out of sequence.

10:30pm - Newsnight, 2nd top story the same thing including an interview with Peter Fincham (BBC1 controller) where it was ludicrously suggested he should resign when the interview itself clearly showed there was barely an issue worth discussing.


This morning - The story is all over the place. I couldn't pick a radio station on the way through to Glasgow that wasn't discussing it in some way shape or form.



So maybe Alastair Campbell is right that the media are a self-obsessed beast running somewhat out of control. After all this 'story' is a non-story for several reasons:


(1) The Queen didn't look like she was in that bad a mood when she said those words "too dressy!?" to the photographer. I was sure I saw the corners of her lips pointing up as if she was actually making a joke.

(2) It's a TV show produced for entertainment and does not deserve this level of scrutiny whatever the final result is.

(3) The clip was shown to a small team of journalists so the claim "the public was misled" is patently not true.

(4) The Queen's position as head of the Royal Family is less and less important as each year goes by, so much so that an apparent hissy-fit from the old lady shouldn't raise eyebrows in a way it once would back in the day. More and more I am beginning to see the Queen as a grotesque example of an incapacity benefit cheat in that she's perfectly healthy, does nothing and still gets a pile of cash from the taxpayer no questions asked.



The sooner this non-story (and Elizabeth's reign) blows over the better

Dodgy By-Election Tactics

Two quite remarkable stories courtesy of Ridiculous Politics.


Story 1


Story 2


It seems these by-elections are going to be a veritable slugfest. I can hardly wait......

Love and Marriage

Quite remarkable.

The Tories hold an 18-month policy review and the main plank that comes out of it involves giving married couples an extra £20 a week. I can scarcely believe how lame an announcement that was yesterday.

Perhaps Mr Dave "I have no policies" Cameron should stick to style over substance after all.


I'm not married and I have no intention of being so any time soon (sorry ladies) but to think I should be enticed into it through a tax break is just horrendous. Tax breaks for being old, disabled, having a green* car or, I don't know, training for the Olympics or something all seem fair enough but financial incentive to get hitched or stay hitched is just so wide of the mark. And if it was the outlying result of some three-day think tank then fair enough but as one of the sole parts of a way to solve the UK's problems from the main opposition and pretenders to the Downing Street throne, it's just bizarre.

Incidentally, there was some wry laughter at DC's changing Breakdown Britain into Breakthrough Britain. Reminded me of the kind of chat you'd get from a motivational speaker for 14 year olds who ends up getting torn to pieces by 3pm.


Yes, if this post didn't already highlight it, I'm rather unimpressed by Dave Cameron thus far.







* And when I say a green car, I mean an environmentally friendly vehicle and not just something on four wheels that looks a little bit like a snotter. Which I used to have, got no end of abuse for that actually.

Alex Salmond is a genius

No really, he is.


The man has political tact pumping through his veins like no other MSP.


This story about his having two salaries when he promised to only have one was a load of nonsense (as I thought IndyGal explained very well) but you can just picture the Daily Record-reading idiots making up some nonsense about yet another politician who is too greedy for his own good.

Alex has turned that argument on its head with his admittedly unashamedly headline-grabbing announcement that he is to use the remainder of his unwarranted salary to fund a charitable trust. A trust that will assist North East groups and societies.

By naming it the Mary Salmond Trust, Alex has linked this trust to his late mother who apparently "spent a lifetime supporting community organisations". There will be cynics of course who will question the sincerity of this act but I believe it's a very nice touch by the First Minister.

He doesn't even have to draw the comparisons with other politicians who took both salaries as an MP and an MSP, they'll be made for him and Mr Salmond, our dear leader, will come out of all of this smelling of roses.

Becoming more like Alfie

The wise and learned amongst us say that every great journey begins with a single step. And in keeping with this fine bit of Fortune Cookie wisdom, today saw the first steps in that great odyssey that is the Edinburgh Tram Project (Let's gloss over the fact that £60m has already been spent on it and we are probably a wee bit down the tracks already).

It is Alfred McAlpine who have taken up the reigns for these first few furlongs and it seems they have been breaking new ground in the preparatory work they are completing at Leith:

Michael Connelly of Transport Initiatives Edinburgh (Tie) said the Ocean Terminal work would last for nine weeks.

He said: "This is quite a unique contract that Tie has let to Alfred McAlpine Infrastructure Services.

"It is the first time in any project of this nature where all utilities will be moved in one fell swoop.

"So you won't have that common experience where one utility is moved, the road covered up, then being dug up again for another utility move."


Please tell me that it didn't take until 2007 before someone realised you would only have to dig the roads up once to move all electricity, gas, phone and water cables/pipes etc etc. These trams truly are taking us into the 21st century, though perhaps not in the way in which we had first thought.....

Got any spare change?

A bunch of coins have been stolen from a Scottish home. Yes, it may sound like the opening to another hilarious Oor Wullie sketch but it seems this is rather serious.

My initial reaction to a Lord (Lord Stewartby to be precise) having his collection of coins stolen was similar to how I would react if a child had misplaced their set of transformer toys. But reading the story in full does show that it's a genuine shame, a lot of history gone and a man's 50 year collection in serious jeopardy.

And how could someone sell on, for example, a 900 year old coin? Who buys these things? Unless The British Museum is involved in nefarious dealings then I can't imagine that the burglers are going to make very much out of these coins.


So yes, if there is a coin black market that I don't know of, hopefully those in the know are more tempted by the 6-figure reward than in owning some half-a-crown that should really belong to our good Lord and Lady Stewartby.


Now, I'm off to scrabble around in my bag for 50pence worth of shrapnel to go buy a Mars bar.

The Campbell Diaries

So, the long-awaited Alastair Campbell Diaries are available for public consumption. I have to admit to being amongst those who have been waiting fairly impatiently to have a read at them but at a price of £25 I might be happy to wait just a little bit longer.



It does seem like a fascinating read from the snippets that have been published. The Sunday Times for one had a very long interview with the ex Chief of Spin and rather than do what I usually do (read the headline, the next 8 paragraphs and then just look at the pictures) I actually read the whole thing.



Will it be completely objective? Of course not. Will there be any bits damaging to Tony or Gordon? Not a chance. But it doesn't matter, Alastair Campbell was pretty much as deep into New Labour as you can get and we're getting his thoughts over the entire period.



And anyway, as long as it throws up amusing stories like this one, I don't really care how economic with the truth Alastair has chosen to be.





PS Totally unrelated but I was in London at the weekend and the size and number of Union Jacks all along Whitehall is so ridiculous it's actually quite funny. They seem out of place without the Queen rolling down alongside them in her golden carriage. Doesn't Gordon Brown realise everyone sees through this British ploy??

Thinking ahead

Given today is the first PMQ's for Gordon Brown and Holyrood is in on its summer holidays, I decided to have a look at any seats in Scotland that might change hands if a snap election were to be called.

I guess points to consider are that the Tories can only make so much headway in Scotland, the Lib Dems had a sensational result in 2005 and arguably "topped out" around then, with the SNP in power in Holyrood one can only imagine their share of the vote would increase and for Labour with Brown in charge they can expect higher figures compared to 2005 when Blair was more damaging for the party than in previous campaigns.


So, keeping that in mind, here's a look at the most marginal of the 59 Westminster seats in Scotland right now:


Dundee East - SNP majority of 383 over Labour (Dundee West has a 5,379 majority for Labour over SNP. Odd given that SNP hold both equivalent seats in Holyrood)

Edinburgh South - Labour majority of 405 votes over the Lib Dems

Ochil - Labour majority of 688 over SNP

Aberdeen South - Held by Labour with a majority of 1,348 over the Lib Dems (note that Anne Begg is the MP here)

Western Isles - SNP majority of 1,441 over Labour

Perth - SNP majority of 1,521 over Tories

Angus - SNP majority of 1,601 over the Tories

Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale & Tweeddale - Tory majority of 1,738 over Labour



So some interesting seats in there, and a real mix of parties with majorities over others though the SNP have 4 of the 8 most marginal seats which is potentially worrying.

And it's remarkable how often the SNP are a distant 4th in Westminster areas where they won seats outright in Hoyrood.


I guess it won't be too easy to predict what effect the SNP administration will have on voting intentions in the next general election, if it will boost the Nationalist vote further or have little effect. But given how tight this oncoming election is going to be, it's fair to say that it could be won or lost for Labour in Scotland and these marginal seats noted above will be very interesting to follow indeed.....



Go on Gordon, go "bawz oot" and call the snap election. You know you want to...........

Health Secretary freed from captivity!

Fantastic news

114 days of hell but Alan Johnston (not, actually, the Health Secretary) is now a free man.

The brief chat with his father Graham was nice to hear about on Radio Five this morning:

AJ: Hi Dad

GJ: How are you son?

AJ: I'm 100%


And then apparently the line went dead with all the jostling from the crowd.



Ahh, brilliant, brilliant stuff.

The day the music died

A very sad moment in the history of record shops as Fopp, the independent music retailer, has had to let most it's staff go and cease trading for now. There is a glimmer of hope as the company discusses its options with consultants and one such option is to continue trading in some form but with severe cashflow problems, the future doesn't look too good.

Fopp is (was) a fantastic place to shop, from its humble beginnings as a Glasgow market stall in 1981 to a veritable library of music across the UK. They had a tendency to have sales based on specific artists too so if you were a Nina Simone or Bob Dylan fan, imagine your joy when you walked into the shop to find all their albums going for a fiver.

And that was another beauty of this place. There was none of this insulting £8.99 nonsense. You paid £9 or what have you and just got on with it.

Despite my romanticising of Fopp Records, the sales just weren't there for the place. Another plucky independent business goes to the wall in this mean old Capitalist world.

So spare a thought next time you are in HMV, Tesco or Odeon. Which honest local independent entity are you helping put to the sword.....?

The fickle world of Statistics

According to The Herald:

A substantial majority of businesses in Scotland is unconvinced an administration led by the Scottish National Party will be good for trade.


Not a great opening paragraph for an SNP fan I'm sure you'll agree. So I went on to see on what basis this claim was being made and, I'll be honest, it took me a while to see on what figures they were using. The figures turned out to be from a poll with the following rundown:

25% - SNP-led executive would have a good impact on Scottish business
38% - SNP-led executive would have make no difference to Scottish business
20% - SNP-led executive would have a bad impact on Scottish business
18% - Don't knows


There are many ways this can be spun. With 56% of the sample saying no difference or the rather lame "I don't know" then anything after that isn't really going to give you much of a headline.

And anyway, more people were for the SNP than against so I can only conclude that the story is deliberately misleading and there's some publication bias going on. Actually, if I was involved in the SNP I would be cautiously pleased with these results, they've only been in power for 2 months after all.

Basically, The Herald could have selected any of the following headlines for this bit of analysis:

- Businesses more likely to favour SNP than not

- Only 1 in 4 businesses back the SNP

- Only 1 in 5 busuinesses are against the SNP

- Most companies do not see the change of government affecting their business


They, of course, went for the second one leaving the reader to assume therefore that 3 in 4 business are against the SNP.


Note, the sample size was only 101. A very poor number to get any worthwhile results from in the first place.

Post Election Polling

And there was I thinking that polling information only really got produced in the run up to elections.

The SNP commissioned a YouGov poll which has put the Nationalists 7 points ahead of Labour on the constituency and 5 ahead on the list vote. I think most people agree that the SNP have enjoyed a particularly rosy honeymoon period. But that period is stretching on so long (2 months since the election) that it's in 'danger' of becoming the status quo.

Of course it helps that Scottish Labour threw their toys so far out of the pram that their struggling to gather them all together. And with Margaret Curran setting out a piece in the Sunday Papers that was a thinly-veiled attempt to put her in the shop window for the leadership it looks like Labour will be taking a few steps backwards before they can go forwards.

Personally, given how poor Labour have performed since the election I am surprised that they have only dropped 1 point in the polls. It seems to reinforce the idea that they have a very solid tranche of support at around the 25-30% mark that would only waver in extraordinary circumstances. Or perhaps a "Brown bounce" has cancelled out any drop-off post-election.

The Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats are down 3 and 4 points respectively. Both parties are in a tricky situation, struggling to have any big impact on proceedings and no clear way to get into the Holyrood spotlight. If things don't change soon for the Lib Dems I would imagine that coalition government might start to look more attractive. Though if Tavish Scott ever gets his hands on the top job then I guess that can be pretty much ruled out.

But whichever way you want to paint this poll, with 6 weeks to plan their political tactics before parliament reconvenes, it can only be good news for the SNP.



Update: They get 9 weeks off apparently? 9 weeks?!? Lazy bunch of sods.... Though to be fair, I'm sure John Swinney will be spending 8 of those weeks furiously tapping away on a calculator