Chief Whips

I don't stand to gain much from writing this post but maybe it's the Catholic in me that makes me think a bit of public shame would do me good.

It is only today that I have fully understood the role of the chief whip.


I guess I had always imagined ex-Chief Whips Jacqui Smith or Geoff Hoon using all their seasoned political aggression, not to mention a cat o' nine tails, to bring the wide-o backbenchers into line behind closed doors. Whimpering and pleading from the young Labour upstarts would have no effect as the stony grimace and chiselled brow remained in place on Jacqui or Geoff's face as they went about their business. The Chief Whip could happily lash away, safe in the knowledge that after another 8 hour shift serving party and country they could be sure that near-unanimous support for Iraq, ID Cards and nuclear weapons would remain in place despite what these damn blood-soaked lefties would support if they were left to vote of their own free will.


So given the above, it was with some confusion yesterday when I learned that Mr Conway's punishment was to be spared a regular whipping.


I knew Tory MPs have been a bit kinky in the past but I didn't know it was so widespread.....!


Now, of course, all is clear and when I next see Jacqui Smith or Geoff Hoon, I'll be able to look them in the eye without picturing either of them giving me 50 strokes for disagreeing on childcare voucher schemes.