Raging Against the Wrong Machine

There is a (seemingly diminishing) school of thought that television shows like X-Factor are the new opiate of the masses with contestants seemingly intoxicated by the idea that life won't be worth living if they don't make it into Simon Cowell's 'top 3'.

So the theory goes, this has dangerous repercussions for the vulnerable wannabes flinging themselves at Simon's feet in their thousands not to mention an impressionable watching audience who amend weekend plans to make sure they catch the show and work out who has the best dress, Cheryl or Dannii.

While I fully agree with this synopsis, I still think there's nothing wrong with sprinkling a little 'opium' here and there into our lives to brighten things up a bit, from time to time.

Added to the saccharin frivolity that is this year's X Factor Christmas single is the news that Rage Against the Machine's 1990's 'Killing In the Name Of' track has emerged as the 'anyone but' protest record in the face of a probable number one for Simon Cowell et al.

Wouldn't it be great if that nice wee lad Joe McElderry was merely number 2 in the charts on Christmas Day and we could, at least temporarily, end Reality TV's domination of the festive holidays?

Isn't #RATM4XMASNO1 a campaign that the whole country can unite behind as we celebrate our togetherness mixed with a dash of rock nostalgia?

Well, not quite...

Rage Against the Machine and Joe McElderry are both backed by the Sony BMG label and that puts rather a different Christmas gloss on this apparent feel good story of the day.

Some clever executive at the recording company has clearly decided to yank the country around using Twitter and Facebook to sell truckloads of records and people are lapping it up, breathing and inhaling in that opium like they just can't get enough.

It is an arms race with only one winner - Sony BMG. Now how Christmassy is that?

If people really want to back a Christmas record and truly thumb their noses to the established powers that be, get out your guitars and record a track along these lines for a true rage against a truly regrettable machine:

'His name's Gary McKinnon,

and what has he done,

hacked into a mainframe,

and had a little fun

And so he was arrested,

with his life now undone,

let's hope he's set free,

while still fairly young'

A very Merry Christmas,

And a happy New Year,

Let's hope it's a good one,

Without any fear

His mother is pleading,

his fiance waits,

MPs fake their concern,

while his Asperger's deteriorates

And so now it's Christmas,

with McElderrys and SuBos,

a man faces life in prison,

just for looking up UFOs